Pretty is as Pretty Does

Apparently my space is the spot for self-assuredness and confidence.  Don’t believe me check out some of the comments I got on some of my older blogs.


 Monique, it’s obvious you take Glamazon to a pristine level. All that, smart and single? What’s the matter with the men in Houston?


Monique, You are such a Glamazon, and any guy who can’t catch up isn’t worth your Glamazon time!!! I love that your space is all about self-assurance and empowerment! Keep up the good work : )


LMAO… there are two of us… I wasn’t surprised but was still quite impressed with how cool you are… love the confident vibe I get from you, makes me feel more confident too…


…But I gotta go with the men – what retarded yahoo would do you wrong?, cause gurrrllll, you are HOT HOT HOT! and obviously an intelligent, caring woman. Eventually a man will prove himself worthy of the OG!


I fell like the next comment should say Monique gets 4 stars I would see her again! LOL So I guess it’s kinda of cool that people get such a confident, self assured vibe from me and my space.  That helps me be more self-assured and confident it’s a positive circle of self love!!  I definitely never planned it that way!  OG was here to bring the trife… you know I don’t gang bang I rock the dope rhymes!!  The only problem is that I apparently project something I am not.  I have spent my whole life being self-conscious not self- assured, feeling insecure and not confident.  Apparently my insecurity about myself reads as confidence to those around me.  Better look out if I ever really start thinking I am the shyt.  I am sure every woman spends some part , if not all, of her life wrestling with feelings of never being adequate enough… you know never pretty enough, never fine enough, or never stylish enough.  Welcome to America home of the airbrush! 


What’s funny is the thing that I think makes me come across as confident is my confidence in my brain.  I have always prided myself in my intelligence and at a very young age I decided that it made more sense to be the smart girl, than the pretty girl.  When I was younger I never thought of myself as pretty.  Hell I still don’t.  I know I am not ugly but I also know beauty doesn’t matter.  People who like you because of how you look are not people I want to be with.  I spent a lot of time working on the rest of me while the beauty was catching up.  So please take sometime to appreciate my wit and my brains along with my T &A.  The older I get the more comfortable I become with the beauty of my flaws.  I see such beauty in imperfections.  I wish more women did.  So considering the list of flaws I have, no wonder I think I am great.


Now, the other thing that stood out in these comments is that its seems that people assume even if you are smart, pretty and self assured, you still need a man to complete you.  This ain’t Jerry McGuire and nobody had me at hello.  Look I have been there done that and I have come to the same conclusion I came to before I got married, I am not the marrying kind.  I am too quick with my mouth!! Hell I am barely the dating kind.  I guess it really bothers me that no one ever tells a self assured, confident, and handsome man.  Hey you’re great and hang in there some woman will be sure to co-sign on those traits of yours.  It never occurred to me that I needed a man to validate my fabulousness.  Well I lie, I think that’s all that use to occur to me in my early 20’s.  I think the happiest time of my life was when I flew under the radar. The smart, funny, girl with a great smile, winning personality, who doesn’t take herself too seriously (which now I guess translates into confidence-especially when that girl learns that she is beautiful woman).  I never thought of myself in terms of men then and then one day I woke up and it happened, like most women, my self-worth got tied up in how a man treated me.  I of course always thought it had to do with me and my lack of something…you know if I were <insert adjective here>er he would like me.  Women are raised in a comparative mode always sizing one another up, I try not to but I still do.  I think when I was 19 was the when I learned it was not about me AT ALL.  It took a minute to really get it, because I am hard headed and stubborn.  Those were hard lessons all women have/need to learn.  But now I am glad I have learned them. 


The minute I really started to believe that not being with me was someone else’s loss was the minute I really gained a freedom and independence to be me.  It’s also when the heads started turning. There’s is something about not giving a phuck that makes men get in your face!  It is something that I still struggle with, but I always tell myself is all I can do is be me and if you don’t like it oh well your loss not mine.  I tried changing myself to fit what I thought a wife should be, and then I realized I should have been who I was and everyone involved would have been much happier maybe not married, but definitely happier.  I think the most attractive thing is a woman in her skin no matter how flawed that is.  There is no such thing as the perfect anything, so once you let go of chasing that, you become the prettiest you there is.  Anyone who can’t get with that is a busta!! I wish I could have told the younger Monique that.  The minute I realized that I defined me, is the minute I unleashed the Glamazon in me.  Sometimes I forget it, but the voice inside reminds me.  I am still guilty of sometimes trying to be more for others and for appearance’s sake, even though in my right mind I know that it doesn’t matter.  Its one of those self-destructive traits that women get handed down from their mothers.  Along with the golden rule pretty is as pretty does.  That’s what they tell little ugly girls and pretty girls.  Isn’t that crazy, now if your mom told you that you trying to figure out which one she thought you were (pretty of course- no mother has an ugly child).  It’s quite simple ugly girls have to rely on some other trait to make others see their inner beauty and no one wants a pretty girl who goes around acting ugly.  I knew which one I was always, which saved me a lot of bullshyt in my life.  Wouldn’t you like to knw which one I thought I was….you decide beauty is in the eye of the beholder.


Despite the fact that I cuss like a sailor, drink like a fish, and stand taller than the average man I have managed to act my way right into pretty or is that out of ugly.  Occasionally I have the horrible catty thought and I have to remind myself pretty is as pretty does.  Please remember this pretty does pretty all by herself and she its perfectly happy that way.   


Hope this keeps up the self-assured positive OG vibe I am now infamous for!!


Be EZ,




Every morning, every afternoon, every night/ I wanna be with you/ It don’t matter if we go to the park or watch a play/ Stay in the hotel room all day/ I just wanna be with you I love everything about you /From your old school tennis shoes/ To the way you move when you’re dancing with me


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3 Responses to Pretty is as Pretty Does

  1. Poppy says:

    Are you trying to indirectly admit to your ultimate sense of LAMENESS? lol. Is this blog proprietary?

  2. Renee says:

    I am just like that too… I do project a sense of knowing who i am… of being confident… but as you know… and I admitted to you early on in our conversations (so glad you kept talking to me after that TMI LOL) that I am quite self-conscious and this new found sense of "I dont give a f-k" is new… and the old self conscious girl will creep up on me at unexpected times… making me feel like I havent made any progress… and the thing is i dont think either of us are that strange… i think the most confident person feels like us on the inside but they do a phenomenal job of hiding it… while the both of us do a awesome job… it still comes out… but not as often… and no one else can see it but us… which is the best part… that only we and the people we love and trust and allow to see it know about it…

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