Old folks in the Baptist church have this saying “Please give me my flowers while I can still smell them.” It means don’t wait ‘til I’m dead to tell me how great you think I am.
This weekend two very special people to me (one directly special, the other through relation) did something very special and I am so excited and happy to be a part of it (even if it is indirectly). I promised not put anyone’s business in the streetz but I just want to say a few things to those friends.
To my very special friend:
I have always admired you since the first day I met you. You have always been my measure. You have always been my sounding board. Although, you have not always been the sane one you most definitely have stopped my insanity on more the one occasion. I have watched you grow into someone to be contended with. You are the truth. Sometimes that truth is hard to face, but you bring it. Thank goodness you also bring Kleenex and chocolate to get me through that truth. You know your faults and aren’t afraid to admit them. You are intelligent, talented and beautiful. You are every woman,literally. We have gone through so much together (well not everything- not babies.thank God). We have been through it all with each other love, pain, sunshine and rain (that Frankie Beverly really is poetic). We have become women together. We have lost and gained hundreds of lbs together. We have eaten tons of chocolate frosting and cookie dough together! We have inside jokes than span decades. To put a little switch on India Arie if being friends with you is a reflection of me, I must be FLY! You are not just a friend to me, you are my sister and I love you.
I am so happy that you have found someone that makes your days brighter. I am so glad that you didn’t settle for sensible, better-than-nothing, he –respects-me-love or I’m not getting any younger and we have been together for a while love or he loves me more than water and I can grow to love him love. Like I said you are my measure. I am glad you waited and showed me that it is there, you know the great, big, core-connecting, fate-fulfilling, gotta have it earthquake love, the I can’t picture my life with out him love, the I have never met two people who are more perfect for each other with out making me puke kind of love. The kind of love we all dream about and are often too scared to wait for, for fear it will never come. Thank you. Thank you for letting me know it is out there and He is out there and even if I never find it or him I am still ok.
To the one who is special by relation:
Thank you. As a girlfriend it is not often there is a man that we approve of. One thing you have to understand we are designed to be nemesis from the start, as a best girlfriend you are always privy to hear only the negatives about your friend’s man, all the things that he is doing wrong. That’s what women do we talk each other through the bad times. So most men start off ok with the beginner points “I met this awesome guy and he is positive positive positive”, but you will soon hit the “we are having problems and he is negative negative negative”. It’s how you survive those talks that counts. You came through with flying colors! I know you aren’t perfect, which was hard for me to believe at first. However, I am so happy to have you in our circle. Some say that men don’t or can’t make it here, in my circle of girlfriends. I beg to differ; men make it here just fine; it is boys that have a problem surviving. When I finally met you and saw you with my girl, I knew instantly what she saw in you. Everyone who has met you thinks that God formed you in the heavens just for her. You are made for her and she is made for you. I have never met a cooler couple. Never. You are what it’s about, you are friends above all the rest and some times it is like you are already related (but not in creepy way). You guys share so many similarities and even your differences seem to compliment one another’s. I feel your connection and I am happy that you didn’t turn from the connection but you embraced it. I am inspired by it. It isn’t sappy or forced it is what is meant to be. While I know you are the perfect man, I know you aren’t what I would have ever picked for me, but you are exactly what I would pick for her. You two are the perfect couple. I knew you were special the first time I heard about you. I bet you wish you knew when that was.
To the we that is special to me:
I wish you two the best and I know it will be the best. I know it is what was meant to be and I am so very happy to be a witness to true love. You both stayed true to who you were and found each other. You didn’t compromised your integrity to be with each other. I truly believe that is what love is about. I can never settle now, because I know that out there is the one that fits. Not the one who I choose because they are nice or because they are good to me, but the one I pick because when I see him I think he was formed in the heavens just for me. You two are the measure. To be young, black, and gifted is cool but to be those things and in love is a true blessing and so amazing.
I love you both and I wish you nothing but the best. <—-tears of joy
Love is patient, love is kind, it does not envy, it does not boast, it is not proud, it is not rude, it is not self-seeking, it is not easily angered, it keeps no record of wrong doings. Love does not delight in evil but rejoice with truth. It always protects, always trusts, always hopes, always preserves.